The Life of a Sex Therapist: Heather Brewer<\/a>” by LoversPackage.com on 3 April 2015.<\/em><\/p>\n“We met Heather Brewer at the Sexual Health Expo in L.A. this January. She stopped by our A Touch of Romance booth, where we talked briefly about her work. With a focus on listening to our bodies, she is a great resource for sex and gender exploration.<\/p>\n
Heather Brewer is a registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern; Therapist internships can be likened to a doctor\u2019s residency status. After seven years of face-to-face client work, Heather is close to completing her required 3,000 internship hours. She works under the supervision of Mindy Fox, a Marriage and Family Therapist in Santa Monica, California. As for her education and training, she attended the somatic psychotherapy program at the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco.<\/p>\n
Without further ado, here\u2019s our in-depth interview with Heather Brewer.<\/p>\n
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What do sex therapists do, exactly?<\/h3>\n
\u201cSex therapist\u201d is a bit of an umbrella term for slightly different types of healers who make sexuality a central focus of their psychotherapy practice. While sex is the topic of exploration, the modalities differ amongst us. I work somatically, which means that I have extensive knowledge of the body, and that I use it as a diagnostic tool as well as a vehicle for healing<\/strong>. Because the body speaks very clearly, what goes on for a person in their sexual life is both an excellent source of information about how they move through the world, as well as a wonderful place for growth and healing to occur. What I do in session depends on the wants and needs of my clients, but it always includes tracking of sensations and gestures.<\/em><\/p>\n\u201cHeart rate, muscle tension, and the nature of one\u2019s breath are major indicators of what\u2019s happening in a person\u2019s emotional landscape\u2026 Somatic work takes you beyond the \u2018why\u2019 into the \u2018how.\u2019\u201d \u2013 Heather Brewer<\/h5>\n
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What makes you, and your practice different from other therapists\u00a0and\u00a0sex therapists?<\/h3>\n
My specialization in sex and gender definitely sets me apart from many other therapists. Sometimes this is simply due to my knowledge base, but clients often seek me out for my willingness to explore these realms without judgment.<\/em> Sex can be so evocative that people sometimes won\u2019t engage in a process with it, or fail to see it as symbolic of a larger dynamic.<\/p>\nMost sex therapists are very familiar with the inner workings of the body<\/strong>, especially the nervous system, but not all of us work somatically. For instance, let\u2019s say a couple comes to me because neither one of the partners is adept at initiating sex. This dynamic will inevitably play out in our sessions (they might both experience discomfort with starting to talk when the session begins, etc.), and they will be gently and safely guided through becoming conscious of it, and practicing better ways of relating. Somatic work is really effective and long-lasting, because it\u2019s systemic. You can\u2019t hide from sensation.<\/em><\/p>\nAlso, I often quote Seinfeld or refer to Star Wars for analogies. And actually, that brings an important point to mind. I\u2019m very big on being myself in the room. <\/strong>It\u2019s the relationship between therapist and client that is the most important in therapy, so it matters that my clients and I like each other. Therefore, I have to show some of myself and my emotions.<\/em> So our particular ways of being will inherently differ from each other.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Can you pick three words that describe the world of sex therapy? Can you share how these words are important?<\/h3>\n
Beautiful, intense, and complex.<\/strong> These are the things that come up for me the most often both in my own explorations, and in my work with my clients. I think they kind of speak for themselves, and they\u2019re necessarily subjective anyway. It\u2019s such a vast landscape.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Who can benefit from seeing a sex therapist? Who might it not help?<\/h3>\n
I truly cannot imagine anyone not being able to benefit from exploring their sexuality, because everyone has one. It is simply part of our being. And it is my belief that all therapists ought to be comfortable making this a part of their practice, and I hope that \u201csex therapist\u201d will eventually be a redundant term<\/em>. But perhaps this is a good time to clarify that sex therapists don\u2019t always or only focus on sexuality. There are many realms I explore with my clients. Letting people know that I\u2019m a sex therapist is more of way of saying, \u201cWe can talk about that, too,\u201d because it\u2019s not yet a given.<\/strong> That said, sometimes a person isn\u2019t yet ready to talk about sex directly, or they desire to focus on it too narrowly. But as long as a person is willing to invest themselves, there is always a way to do therapy that\u2019s right for them.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Can you describe your journey towards\u00a0this type of work?<\/h3>\n
I find that I have slightly different answers for this each time I\u2019m asked, so there are probably a great many reasons. But what often comes to mind is this conversation I had in high school with some of my friends. I can never remember how it started, but the topic of masturbation was being skirted around, and I decided to just disclose that I did indeed masturbate. Each of our reactions was this fascinating mix of astonishment, relief, and excitement<\/em>. I also had a really potent desire to discuss it more. And to get other people to discuss it.<\/strong> The desire to do so had obviously been getting squelched for all of us, and it was so easy to just name it and get things rolling. I guess that sums up a lot: it\u2019s really important to most people, yet most people don\u2019t talk about it.<\/em><\/strong> I really wanted that to change, and it\u2019s been an honor be on that crusade since.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Is there anything else you\u2019d like to share?<\/h2>\n
I guess I\u2019d just like to add that the point of this work is to uncover who you already are, and to maintain an environment that nourishes you<\/strong>. That can look so many different ways<\/em>, and I really want people to understand that. Find the people, places, art, books, music, and explorations that feed you. In some ways it\u2019s a very simple path.”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
Interview conducted by Aleesha Alston. Aleesha and I share a passion for sexual education and healing, and Peekay is lucky to have her! Check out the company’s own killer mission and browse their website<\/a> for all kinds of sexy time resources.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I had the pleasure of being interviewed by one of my favorite sexual wellness companies, Peekay Inc., whose line of female-centric boutique shops are all about sex-positivity, education, and fun. Together we’d like to share with you about the beautiful world of sex therapy. Originally published as “The Life of a Sex Therapist: Heather Brewer” […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[409,411,135,73],"tags":[34,56,106,48,50,42,167,172,171,35,44,84,173,169,22,170,27,150,19,81,168],"class_list":["post-400","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-de-mystifying-therapy","category-interviews-with-heather","category-resources-for-therapists","category-somatic-modalities","tag-body-mind-therapy","tag-couples-therapy","tag-healthy-sex","tag-kink","tag-kinky-sex","tag-los-angeles-therapy","tag-peekay-inc","tag-psychotherapy-los-angeles","tag-psychotherapy-santa-monica","tag-santa-monica","tag-santa-monica-therapy","tag-sex-positive-therapy","tag-sex-positivity","tag-sex-store","tag-sex-therapy","tag-sexual-evolution","tag-sexual-issues","tag-sexual-wellness","tag-somatic-therapy","tag-therapy-for-sex","tag-touch-of-romance"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heatherbrewermft.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/400","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heatherbrewermft.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heatherbrewermft.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heatherbrewermft.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heatherbrewermft.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=400"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/heatherbrewermft.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/400\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":996,"href":"https:\/\/heatherbrewermft.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/400\/revisions\/996"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heatherbrewermft.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=400"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heatherbrewermft.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=400"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heatherbrewermft.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=400"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}