The good kind, please!

Most people needn’t be persuaded to eat chocolate, though I do recommend making a bit of ritual out of it. It’s a simple way to treat yourself to something that can get those happy hormones (endorphins) flowing.

Porn is trickier. But like chocolate, when you have the right kind, it can be a real gift. Before you decide that it’s not for you, consider the possibility that you haven’t been exposed to the right kind. For example, did you know that there is a wealth of feminist porn?

In addition to just being a fun date with yourself, watching porn can be a wonderful way to find out what you like (or don’t!) before trying it. And the arousal and orgasm cycle produces oodles of hormones (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins, and prolactin) that make you feel lovely.

Here are my recommended sources for both:

Chocolate

• Ococoa. The name really says it, doesn’t it? The product lives up to the name. Their butter cups are to die for. Order online for the best selection.
• John Kelly Chocolates. Los Angeles boasts locations in both Santa Monica and Hollywood. Santa Monica’s location is double the delight with playful shop keepers who make picking your treats even more fun.
• Scharffen Berger. Fabulous chocolate and an easy go-to, because it’s available at most good markets, like the Santa Monica Co-Op.

Pornography

• Good Vibrations. This wonderful company has sections like “Produced by Women.” Shop online if you aren’t in New York or the Bay Area.
• The Pleasure Chest. Go and peruse on your own or, even better, ask a salesperson for some recommendations based on your interests or restrictions. Remember that it’s perfectly normal to feel shy about this, but you won’t get a lick of judgment from anyone you encounter here.
• Violet Blue’s book The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn. This is an amazing resource! Not only does it contain an extensive list of websites, books, comics, producers, and companies that offer quality porn, but it includes extensive discourse on the history and politics of porn.

Go find something for you and enjoy!

For further reading on the topic of good pornography, check out The Feminist Porn Book or After Pornified.

A healthy and vibrant relationship to sex is necessary for a happy you. If you believe you may have an addiction to pornography, I encourage you to call or email me to schedule an appointment for therapy. It is ok to talk about.